To Disappear Through Time
by lovelightburn
Summary: Chapter NINE up! A reversal of the usual Time-Turner scenario. Sirius comes forward in time to find Hermione all alone in Grimmauld Place and estranged from her parents, the Weasleys, and Harry. Read & Review, please!
1. To Disappear Through Time

To Disappear Through Time

Chapter 1

Number 12 Grimmauld Place was mostly unchanged in decor since its days as the headquarters of the Order of the Phoenix, but it was cleaner and the screeching portrait had been removed. Another noticeable change was that it was much quieter. And much more empty.

Hermione sat alone in the study, books surrounding her. _You always were my nearest and dearest, weren't you? _she thought sadly, surveying them. She was alone; there was no denying it, in the house and in life. Harry and Ginny were somewhere halfway around the world, she wasn't sure where anymore. Their owls had come sparingly at first and eventually stopped altogether.

Harry had practically given her Grimmauld Place, stating that there were just too many bad memories. He and his new wife were traveling, Harry finding that there was more to this world than being The Boy Who Lived, and Ginny living the life of leisure and luxury that she had always wished for.

And she was just here. Her job was mediocre at best. Because she was unwilling to let her name carry her though life, she didn't take a job with the Ministry. Or a magical job at all, actually. She worked at a Muggle bookstore in London, shelving books and ringing up customers and the like. At first it was refreshing to shelve books she hadn't already read and discover new authors, but now it had become grating to do everything without magic and hide her magical side. She just didn't know what she wanted to do anymore. Everything that had been planned for her - marriage to Ron, a job at the Ministry, red-headed children - were not _her _plans so much as they were plans made for her by others.

And by the time she realized that's not what she wanted, she had gone along with it for so long that it backfired on her in the worst way possible.  
>A drop of moisture fell to the parchment in front of her and she realized that she had actually let her emotions get the best of her. She wiped it away impatiently and tried to return her attention to her book.<p>

_"...Sometimes you cry, Susie, even when someone you love has been gone a long time..."_

"Tell me about it," she said to herself softly as she read. Partially through the next page, she realized there was a new sound in the house. Footsteps sounded on the floor above her, moving quite confidently and making no move to silence themselves. Immediately the hair on the back of her neck stood up and she drew her wand ready. No one ever came here anymore, neither Harry and Ginny nor any of the Weasleys. And even if they were to come, certainly they'd apparate to the first floor rather than the third. Undecided on whether to search out the intruder or wait for them to come to her, she decided it to wait. No chance that it was a Muggle, for she had left all of the original wards and charms on the house, save for the Fidelius charm.

The unknown person was descending the stairs. She heard the doors to the bedroom being opened one by one. Holding her breath and readying her wand, she waited for the door to the study to open. Moments slipped by as molasses before the door finally creaked open to reveal - - absolutely nothing.

"R-reveal yourself!" she stammered, hating her voice for sounding so weak. There was a pause before the swishing sound of fabric moving and there appeared the head of none other than Sirius Black, looking no different than the last she had seen him, years ago.

"Where is everyone, Hermione?"


	2. Reveal Yourself

To Disappear Through Time  
>Chapter 2<br>_"R-reveal yourself!" she stammered, hating her voice for sounding so weak. There was a pause before the swishing sound of fabric moving and there appeared the head of none other than Sirius Black, looking no different than the last she had seen him, years ago._

_"Where is everyone, Hermione?" _

Hermione couldn't bring herself to reply. How could she when she couldn't even breathe? Sirius noticed her distress and put out a hand to steady her.  
>"Easy now, love," he soothed. He guided her over to the squashy sofa of the study and she sat down, still unable to believe her eyes. She breathed in deeply and tried to regain her composure but it seemed impossible. Seeing your best friend's dead godfather standing solidly in front of you will do that to you. He was looking as he had during his confinement at Grimmauld Place during her sixth year, the bad times in which he had let himself go in his disgruntlement at being imprisoned yet again. He was unshaven with his hair brushing his collar. His clothing looked clean though, yet there was a slight scent of firewhiskey lingering on him.<br>Sirius walked around the study while he waited for her to calm herself, and seemed surprised to see that not much had changed within it.

Finally Hermione felt as though she could speak.  
>"Sirius. What are you doing? You're – gone," she said quietly.<br>Rather than replying in a jovial way as she had half-thought he would, he regarded her quite seriously as if he had expected as such.  
>"Gone as in dead?" he asked shortly.<p>

"Well, we were never quite sure. You fell into a veil in the Department of Mysteries. They would never let us examine it nor tell us anymore about it, claiming that it was confidential. They just said you were –"

"Gone. I get it," he finished. He sat down on the other end of the couch. It appeared that the news of his goneness was affecting him as well.  
>"How is Harry? And Remus? And everybody?" was his next question.<br>This is what Hermione had been dreading.  
>"Harry is fine, Sirius. He and Ginny are married and traveling around the world at the moment. Before you ask, I don't know where he's at or when he'll be back."<p>

Sirius studied her for a moment but didn't press it.  
>"Before I tell you more, you have to tell me why you're here. Where did you come from? Or when, rather?"<br>Sirius reached into his shirt and pulled out an ornate looking Time-Turner. It looked differently than the one Hermione had used in her third year, heavier and not only thickly wrought with gold, but also embellished with jewels. Also it appeared more complex; there was the stationary outer ring, and then the inner plate that rotated, but it appeared that the hourglass itself also rotated.

"This was my great-grandfather's, I believe," Sirius said. "I don't want to think about the possibilities it presented to my family, but it is what it is. I've been experimenting with it…"

He pointed to the hourglass.  
>"Rotating this takes you back through hours, just as a regular time-turner does. But it goes forward also. And the inner plate when rotated can take you back and forth through years."<br>"Sirius! That is beyond dangerous! Propelling yourself into the future with no clue where you may end up! What if we had still been in the midst of a war, or if you had been seen by your future self!" she exclaimed.

As terrible as it sounded, it was actually refreshing to scold someone again, although it was probably simply the human interaction she was enjoying.  
>"That's what the Invisibility cloak was for, until I was ordered to remove it," he replied. "As for the war, I was hoping that ten years would be enough time for us to win it. We did win, I assume? Or are you hiding out?"<br>"It's over. We won," was Hermione's only reply. She was hesitant to tell him any details, for fear that he would use the time-turner to go back and attempt to reclaim those who were lost. Especially Remus.  
>"Why are you here, Sirius? When did you come from?" she asked again.<br>"I came from November 1995. I was cooped up in this wretched house and was sick of it. So on a whim I decided to try this out and see what I would find. This wasn't what I thought."  
>"When else have you gone?" Hermione asked, trying her best not to sound accusing.<br>Sirius looked to the ceiling, as though not looking at her would make his shenanigans less of an issue.  
>"I may have gone back to my Hogwarts days."<br>"Sirius!"  
>"I was under the cloak!" he defended. "I just – I missed James. I kept my distance and stayed under the cloak and just watched. I had forgotten the time that we took Remus's Potions book and charmed it so–"<br>Sirius stopped suddenly.  
>"Hermione, how is Remus?" he asked hesitantly.<br>Hermione sighed sadly.  
>"I'm so sorry, Sirius."<p> 


	3. Let Me Show You

To Disappear Through Time

Chapter Three

"_Hermione, how is Remus?" he asked hesitantly._

_Hermione sighed sadly. _

_"I'm so sorry, Sirius."_

Sirius lowered his head, his nostrils flaring and grimace of pain stretched across his features.  
>"How?" he asked tersely.<br>"First," Hermione began hesitantly, "give me the time-turner."

"Why?" Sirius inquired, putting his hand over it protectively.  
>"It wouldn't do very well for you to go racing back in time to try to save him, now would it? Why am I even telling you this at all?" She sounded as if she was asking herself, as well as him.<br>"Hermione, do you think I could go back and complacently wait around as I have been, knowing that something is _possibly_ going to happen to me, as well as _possibly_ happening to Remus? If anything, I'm waiting for you to convince me that I should _not _try to intervene. But as I already know that something happened, you may as well tell me what has happened!"

The tirade had begun with Sirius standing over the couch but as he continued, Hermione stood up to face him down.

"I understand where you are coming from," she began, "but I must insist. Give me the damn time-turner, Sirius Black."

Sirius glared back at her and she wondered if he was considering apparating away and disappearing back through time regardless, but apparently reason won over and he removed the time-turner from around his neck and dropped it into her waiting hand.  
>"Now tell me what the hell happened, Hermione Granger," he replied, finishing as dangerously as she had.<p>

She took a deep breath. These weren't memories she often felt like reliving.

"It was during the battle. He died dueling Dolohov, probably to the same curse Dolohov hit me with, it seems to be his trademark," Hermione finished bitterly, rubbing at her chest absent-mindedly.

Sirius sank to the sofa, his hand over his face.  
>"What curse? I don't remember that," he asked, his voice muffled by the hand he had brought to cover his face.<br>"Oh, I forgot you wouldn't know about that, would you? In the Battle of the Department of Mysteries, Dolohov hit me with an unknown curse, most likely a bit of dark magic. I had silenced him though, so it didn't have the impact it might have had. Even so, the effects were rather severe."  
>"What did the curse do?" Sirius seemed intent on knowing every detail of Remus' death.<br>"Well, as I said, it didn't have full impact on me," Hermione began hesitantly, "but I was injured internally. I was on a load of potions for weeks, and I still have a slight scar that pains me on days when I have over-extended myself. It – it appears it had much the same effect on Remus, just to a more critical extent."  
>"Can I see?" Sirius asked, gesturing to her chest.<br>Hermione opened her mouth uncertainly, unsure of what to say.  
>"I just want to know what happened to him, Hermione," Sirius said tiredly.<p>

Tired; an understatement if any. When he had first revealed himself from under the cloak, he had appeared as disheveled as he usually did, but in mostly good spirits. Now, with the pain in his face and his grey eyes downcast, he looked defeated.  
>And Hermione couldn't bring herself to deny him. Moving her hair to the side, she unzipped the old hoodie she wore, revealing the camisole underneath. Taking care not to reveal more than she deemed appropriate, she tugged at the camisole until the jagged scar was revealed.<br>Sirius stared at the raised bit of scar tissue intently, even raising a hand to trace it lightly. Hermione held in a sigh at the feel of his finger tracing across her skin so delicately, and tried to keep her head from going cloudy.

_This is _Sirius_, _she scolded herself, _get a hold of yourself.  
><em>Hermione gave Sirius an awkward smile before making a move to zip up her hoodie

"He died a hero, Sirius," she said softly. "Laying next to Tonks in the Great Hall, he looked peaceful almost. He and Tonks fought to give their son a chance at a good life."

"Their son?" Sirius asked incredulously, "Nymphadora Tonks and Remus Lupin's son?"

Hermione could have slapped herself. It was hard to remember that there was so much that he didn't know.  
>"Yes, their son, Teddy Lupin. He was born a month before the battle. He is Harry's godson."<p>

"What happened to Tonks?"

"She died at the hands of Bellatrix during the battle."  
>"Bitch," Sirius snarled, "She seemed most concerned with taking us out, most of all. Her own family."<p>

"Yes," Hermione agreed sadly.  
>"Where is Teddy? Is he with Harry?" Sirius questioned.<br>"No," Hermione replied, "He lives with Andromeda. Harry visits whenever he's home and sends him loads of gifts, but I think his hands are full with Ginny. I don't know if a surrogate son fits into her plans right now."  
>It was hard to keep a sardonic edge from entering her voice, considering her current relationship, or lack thereof, with the Weasley family.<p>

"Can I see him?" Sirius asked, his eyes finally lifting.

Hermione smiled, waving her wand to summon a volume from the bookshelf across the room. She patted the cushion next to her, gesturing him to sit beside her. The front cover was embellished with the name Ted Remus Lupin and showed a small picture of a toddler whose eye and hair color were rapidly changing by the second.

"Let me show you, Sirius." 


	4. Rat in a Cage

To Disappear Through Time

Chapter Four

_She patted the cushion next to her, gesturing him to sit beside her. The front cover was embellished with the name Ted Remus Lupin and showed a small picture of a toddler whose eye and hair color were rapidly changing by the second. _

"_Let me show you, Sirius."_

After Hermione showed him the thorough photo album of Teddy Lupin's life thus far, as well as relating several anecdotes, Sirius seemed to be in brighter of spirits. He asked questions about the toddler and his personality and was glad to hear that he seemed to be the perfect amalgamation of Remus and Tonks: intelligent and curious like his father, yet with the lighthearted personality of his mother, along with her Metamorphmagus traits. Hermione was glad that she had remained close to Andromeda and Teddy so that she was able to answer his questions. However, Hermione was now starting to worry, as Sirius had been in the present time for a few hours now.

"Sirius," Hermione said tentatively, "just how long are you going to stay?"  
>"Tired of me already, are you?" Sirius replied, the corner of his mouth lifting in a grin.<p>

"No, of course not," Hermione exclaimed. "It's nice having you here. In fact, it seems as if I never, well, no longer have anyone…here, I mean. I'm just worried that you'll be gone too long from the past, they may notice you're not there," she finished quickly.  
>"Hermione, think about it. Do you remember hearing about me going missing from Grimmauld Place? Of Molly and the lot not knowing where I had gone? I doubt it. I think I've managed to solidify the image of myself as a self-deprecating lech in their eyes, they probably think I've just holed myself away somewhere in the house, drinking away my sorrows."<p>

As prudent as it seemed to attempt to dissuade Sirius of this assumption, Hermione knew it to be mostly true. From what she could remember, this had been the prevalent opinion during the time from which Sirius had come.

"But still," she insisted, "you must go back soon."

"And I will," he replied smoothly.

He stood up and walked around the study, examining the study. It truly did not look much different than it had in the past; the only differences being that the shelves that had contained so many things of a questionable nature were now filled with both magical and muggle books alike and instead of the dark and dilapidated decorations of years ago, these were new and pristine. Even his own room that he had reappeared in had been clean and the bedclothes and furniture like new. Although he had noticed that his girly posters were nowhere to be seen.

"You know, this really wasn't what I expected to see," Sirius confessed.

"What did you expect," Hermione prodded, curious to know what Sirius' idea of the future had been.

"Life," he answered, "I expected this place to be full of life. Of the happiness I had never found here as a kid. I hoped that Harry would be living here with whomever he married, that I'd see his kids and know that he was happy. Maybe even see a little Sirius Potter running around."

Hermione smiled gently at the thought.  
>"I thought if I hung around long enough I might even catch a glimpse of Remus with his own children, though I'd never thought they would be with my little cousin Nymphadora. And maybe even some red-headed little bookworms of yours…" Sirius trailed off, smiling indulgently at her.<p>

Hermione scoffed. "Hardly," she muttered.

Sirius studied her for a moment, but continued with what he was saying.

"I thought I'd find something to encourage me to keep fighting, in the only way that I could anymore. If I showed up here and everyone was happy and alive, I would know that it would all be worth it in the end. Maybe I'd even see myself happy with a wife and children and not just a rat in a cage. I knew there was a chance I'd be dead, hell, I practically counted it as a guarantee. But as long as everyone else seemed to be healthy and happy, it seemed like it'd be okay. But it's not what I thought."  
>"Harry is happy, Sirius. Just not as you thought. Remus and Tonks may be gone, but they died fighting valiantly, and they are both still alive through Teddy. Everything is okay," Hermione insisted.<p>

"What about you, Hermione?" Sirius said suddenly.  
>Hermione looked away.<p>

"What about me?" she asked nonchalantly.

Sirius leaned forward and held Hermione's hands between both of his own.

"Why are you all alone, Hermione?" he asked intently.

"It's too long of a story, unless you plan on staying all night," Hermione replied, uncomfortable with the prospect of telling Sirius how lonely her life had become as of late.

"Be careful, I may just take you up on that offer," Sirius teased lightly.

Hermione looked up at him and smiled tentatively. This was the longest she had talked to Sirius since well, ever, as well as the longest conversation she'd had with anyone in a long time. He was pleasant company, even with the topics of conversation being as heavy as they had been.

"Um," Hermione said hesitantly, "I was just going to finish up what I was doing here before making some dinner. Would you like to join me?"

"I'd love to," Sirius answered, truly smiling for the first time since his arrival.

They left the study, Sirius opening the heavy door for Hermione. On the way down the stairs, Sirius spoke again.

"Hermione?"  
>"Yes?"<p>

"You'll tell me soon?"

"Maybe on your next visit," Hermione replied.


	5. Dinner With Sirius

To Disappear Through Time

Chapter Five

"_Hermione?"  
>"Yes?"<em>

"_You'll tell me soon?"_

"_Maybe on your next visit," Hermione replied._

Dinner with Sirius had been lovely, even though Hermione was mentally debating whether or not it was the smartest decision to make throughout the entire meal. She had made chicken spaghetti, a personal favorite of hers that didn't take a lot of effort to put together. Sirius at first had stayed out of the way, wandering through Grimmauld Place and examining her pictures and the furniture and whatnot, but eventually he came into the kitchen and asked if he could help. He seemed amused by the fact that except for washing the dishes, she performed many kitchen duties without magic. Handing him a block of cheese and a box grater, she had watched amusedly while he held the grater upside down at first before finally getting it right.

As glad as she was that the questions about Ron and the Weasleys had stopped for the moment, Sirius did ask how her parents were.

"I wouldn't know, really," Hermione said softly, "I don't really talk to them much anymore."

"Why?" Sirius asked, pausing in his grating.

"When things got to be very bad, I worried about Voldemort targeting them. I sent them away, altered their memories. But I did too well of a job."

"What do you mean?"

"I couldn't restore their memories," Hermione replied, her voice tightening. "I had changed their names and caused them to believe they wished to live in Australia…and made them forget that they had even had a daughter. When I went to restore their memory, I – I couldn't lift it. It was like talking to complete strangers. I tried a couple of different times, but I couldn't stand to keep putting them through it again and again. Guess I had made the charm more powerful than I thought."

Scoffing at herself, Hermione stopped stirring the pasta to impatiently wipe at her eyes. Sirius pulled Hermione's wand from her pocket and waved it at the pot, so that it now stirred itself. Slightly awkwardly, he pulled her into his arms in a warm hug.  
>"I'm so sorry, Hermione," Sirius said into her hair.<p>

Hermione had stiffened at the contact, but eventually relaxed into the embrace. She couldn't seem to remember the last time she had hugged someone.

"I mean, I could have attempted to give them more false memories, so they'd at least know who I was and remember their names and that they have a daughter, but how was I supposed to replace twenty years of memories? Of me being born, of the first time I walked, my first words, when I don't even remember? They wouldn't be real," Hermione finished tearfully.

She pulled herself away, knowing that if she stayed in his arms, she may never stop crying. Bracing her hands on the table she leaned forward and took a few deep breaths. Sirius laid a hand comfortingly on her back.

"You did it for their safety, Hermione. If it hadn't been as strong, they may have broken through it. You did the best you could," Sirius consoled.  
>"I did," she sniffed. "I wanted to keep them safe, and I did. I just didn't know it would mean I would lose them a different way."<p>

They both stood silent for a moment. Sirius didn't know what to say. If he could have made his parents forget that he was even born so that he could live his own life away from them, he would have been sorely tempted. But for Hermione, who had caring parents that tried to give her everything she had ever wanted, it must be heart wrenching.

"I didn't even tell Ron and Harry about that," Hermione confessed. "It was right before Harry and Ginny's wedding and everyone was all aflutter about that and the Weasleys had enough on their mind, I just couldn't bring myself to tell them."

"That's not something you should keep inside, love," chided Sirius.

Hermione straightened and turned around with a forced smile.

"It's fine. It really is. Let's have dinner, shall we?"

Soon after dinner, Sirius decided it was probably time for him to go. Hermione walked with him up to his old bedroom and handed him back the old time-turner.

"You might need this," she said sheepishly.

"I reckon I might," he responded smiling.

He pulled her into a big hug and told her to take care of herself.

"You too," she murmured. "Don't let Snape get to you too much."

"Easier said than done, love."

He paused before bending his head to drop a light kiss on her forehead. She stepped back and he began turning the time-turner. One turn, two turns, three turns…

And all too soon he had disappeared from the room, leaving Hermione wondering if what just happened was a good thing or a bad thing, and whether or not he would come again.

_A/N: Thanks for reading and reviewing! Things are going to heat up pretty soon…_


	6. Encounters of the Weasley Kind

_A/N: In apology for the longish wait, here is an extra long chapter for you, my lovely readers. Hey, did you know that replacement MacBook Pro chargers are $80? ME EITHER!_

To Disappear Through Time

Chapter Six

The next day Hermione woke up feeling happier than she had in awhile. Instead of jumping up to get ready in order to be at work at least an hour early, Hermione decided to have a bit of a lie-in this morning. As much as it seemed like a bad idea, it had felt good to have someone to talk to. Even better was being able to talk about her parents. While it still felt as if a heavy weight was pressed to her chest every time she thought of them, it didn't seem as heavy as it once had. In addition to the sadness that accompanied the mention of her parents was the mixed feelings of shame and loss that came when she thought of the Weasleys. She knew that Sirius had dropped the subject for the moment, but she knew his curiosity would get the best of him eventually. She couldn't fathom telling him though as she knew that it would anger him and possibly affect his feelings toward them in her defence. And she couldn't ask that of him anymore than she could have asked it of Harry.

And then came the thought of Sirius going through the veil. Before long he was most likely going to expect to hear more details about his death and maybe even try to find a way to circumvent it. This was where the implications of his time traveling got muddy. What's done is done, right? Or is it?

Shaking her head, Hermione told herself that this complicated bit of thinking would have to wait, for now it was time to get ready for work. Her lightheartedness did not fade even with the heavy thoughts that had plagued her, and she found herself putting in a little more effort in her appearance than she usually did. Rather than one of the prim outfits Ginny had once referred to as a "McGonagall approved outfit", she decided on a flippy yet appropriate skirt and sleeveless top instead, but made sure to bring her long coat in case the weather was nippy. She also decided to wear her hair down, rather than the messy bun she usually employed. She couldn't decide if this eagerness toward her appearance was simply due to her good mood, or in hopes that Sirius would visit her again.

Work was mostly uneventful, save for a couple of compliments for her fellow coworkers. Although she was friendly enough and civil with each of them, there were none that she was particularly close to. Upon being told by Sara that her hair was lovely and that she looked nice today by Lyle, she simply blushed and murmured her thanks. Soon enough her shift was over and she bade her coworkers goodbye. Her walk back to Grimmauld Place took her past the Leaky Cauldron and she decided on a whim that a visit to the bakery might be nice.

Susan Bones had apparently fostered a love for baking and had opened her own business in Diagon Alley. Not only were her pastries delicious but she was also famous for her color-changing cakes and decorations that could move and change at will. Hermione assumed it was a similar charm as that which is put on wizard photographs, but of course it was a trade secret.

Hermione hadn't actually been to Diagon Alley in well over six months, preferring to order her things by mail order unless it wasn't possible. She hesitated before tapping the bricks to enter, but told herself bracingly that such worry was foolish and to get on with it. Upon entering she was relieved to see that it wasn't very crowded and most people seemed to be going about their business, not noticing her. She hurried along, finally stopping outside the cozy and sweet-smelling shop entitled Susan's Sweets & Such.

Behind the counter wasn't Susan, but a dark-featured girl who looked to be a couple years out of Hogwarts. She was friendly enough, Hermione decided. They made small talk while she boxed up the six double chocolate cupcakes that Hermione had picked out into a purple box emblazoned with the name of the bakery in gold letters and tied it with a shiny lavender bow before shrinking it with a tap of her wand.

"There you are, Miss Granger," the salesgirl said cheerfully.

"Thank you," Hermione returned, pocketing the tiny package. Walking out into the bright sunlight, she was fiddling with her purse, trying to resituate the sickles and knuts that she had received as change. She looked up and met the blue eyes of Ron Weasley goggling at her from across the street.

She acted without thinking and disapparated with a loud crack back to Grimmauld Place.

_Crack!_

Hermione reappeared on the doorstep of 12 Grimmauld Place and was thankful that in her distress she had not managed to splinch herself. She hurried inside, unable to keep from looking over her shoulder to make sure she wasn't being followed. It was a relief to lean back against the locked door and wave her wand to restore some of the locking charms not employed since the house was the Order's headquarters. It was unlikely that Ron would follow her but it made her feel better. Reaching in her pocket, she was relieved to find that her parcel from Susan's was still there and not crushed. It was a good thing the salesgirl had shrunk it down to pocket size, for Hermione was fairly sure she would have dropped it otherwise.

_Stop being melodramatic, _she chided herself. _You were bound to run into him at some point and you were in Diagon Alley of all places! Honestly._

Cursing her legs and their shakiness, she walked into the kitchen and expanded the prettily wrapped box with a tap of her wand and set it on the counter. Hermione glanced at the cabinet and decided that it was still rather early and she wasn't that hungry. Perhaps she would read for a bit in the study before making dinner. She walked up the stairs and into the study, grabbing a muggle fiction book off of the shelf and settling onto the squashy couch. With a pang she realized that just yesterday she had sat there with none other than Sirius Black and had one of her best days in awhile. But that was yesterday, no point in dwelling on it. She began to read but soon felt her eyelids getting heavier and heavier…

Sirius was spinning through time, the invisibility cloak flapping around him. He didn't know if this was right, but it felt right, and that was what matters. Visiting Hermione had brightened his week and he had slept better than he had in years. The spinning stopped and he reached out a hand to brace himself against the wall. Ten years in time was not a small distance to travel and came with a slight bit of motion sickness, but it wasn't nearly as bad as going back to his time in Hogwarts. Again he had appeared in his old bedroom. He paused for a moment and listened. There were no sounds in the house that he could hear and he wondered if she was home. Did she work? He was surprised to realize he didn't even know.

The study seemed to be the most likely place for her to be, unless she was in the kitchen or maybe the den, or maybe her bedroom...what would he do then? He couldn't necessarily go charging into her bedroom. But it didn't feel right to go barging through the house with her not there. Although it technically had been his, and was now Harry's, she's the one who lived there. It was hers; he would feel like an intruder.

"Christ," he swore.

Making his mind up that he would just try the study and decide what to do after that, he headed downstairs. Upon reaching the second floor, he paused again. Still nothing. He arrived outside the study and pushed the door open cautiously and walked in.

She was asleep on the couch, on her side facing the back of the couch. One hand was under the cushion she was using as a pillow and one was tucked under her chin. Her hair was loose today, and spilled over her shoulders and lingered over her face, and without thinking, he reached out to gently sweep it away. At the touch of his hand, she made a quiet sleepy sound and he pulled his hand back and wondered at his own nerve.

It was so odd to think that back in his time she was 15, no, 16, she was older than Harry, but here she was ten years older and already more of an adult than he had ever been. After hearing about the loss of her parents and allusions to some fall out between her and the Weasleys and seeing her napping so contently, he couldn't deny that he felt a burgeoning tenderness for her. And the urge to try to make it better. Although considering that in his own time he was a prisoner in this very house, there was very little that he could do. Or was there?

Studying her again, he noticed that she looked a bit peaky, perhaps the result of a hard day. He set off downstairs with the intention of making her dinner.

_A/N: Aw, Sirius. :) Again, sorry for the delay due to my technical difficulties, but the next update will be up soon, lovelies. Reviews, please? _


	7. Tell Me About It

_**A/N: My dear dear beloved readers! Believe it or not, I am not dead. I deeply deeply apologize for the long delay, but I think I have a good reason, maybe? After a year of deployment, my husband is finally back in the states and I finally get to live with him. **____** So I have moved 14 hours away from our hometown but I am happy and it has been great! So please do not hate me too much. In other news, I actually had a breakthrough in my development of this story. I had still been struggling on where this is going, but I believe I have figured it out. So enjoy, and I promise I will update weekly AT LEAST from now on. Love, peace, and sushi. **_

To Disappear Through Time

Chapter 7

_It was so odd to think that back in his time she was 15, no, 16, she was older than Harry, but here she was ten years older and already more of an adult than he had ever been. After hearing about the loss of her parents and allusions to some fall out between her and the Weasleys and seeing her napping so contently, he couldn't deny that he felt a burgeoning tenderness for her. And the urge to try to make it better. Although considering that in his own time he was a prisoner in this very house, there was very little that he could do. Or was there?_

_Studying her again, he noticed that she looked a bit peaky, perhaps the result of a hard day. He set off downstairs with the intention of making her dinner. _

Believe it or not, Sirius Black did actually have some measure of skills in the kitchen. Not that he was able to give them much practice in his own time, considering that Molly commandeered the kitchen and treated him as if he was terribly in the way every time that he stepped foot in it. His cooking style was simple yet tasty, and the fact that Hermione's kitchen was both organized and stocked well only helped. Only about half an hour after leaving Hermione in the study, Sirius had chicken in the oven and potatoes boiling on the stove. He had set a silencing charm on the kitchen before he started in hopes of letting Hermione sleep as long as she could without interruption from him. It also came in handy when he had a slight (yet deafening) disagreement with some of her pots and pans.

With dinner started, Sirius sat down at the table and took a moment to reminisce about the times he had had dinner with Lily and James soon after they were married. Lily had been like Hermione, she hadn't used much magic in the kitchen either. He and James would often gang up on her and tease her about her cooking skills, but it had always been good nonetheless. Sometimes Remus had joined them also, and he would either stay quiet and smile indulgently at the mock disputes or take Lily's side. It was hard to believe he was the only one left.

All of a sudden, there was a knock at the door. Timid at first, the second time it came stronger. Sirius froze, staring at the door without a clue of what to do. He walked slowly down the hall towards the front door. Then there was a voice calling from the other side.

"Hermione! Hermione, are you there?"

Ronald Weasley.

"You can't avoid me forever, Hermione. We need to talk at some point. Just let me in and we can talk about it. Things can go back to the way they were."

Behind him he heard footsteps. He turned around and there was Hermione, her hair slightly mussed and her eyes red. She was pale, yet staring at the door with a mixture of contempt and only slight fear. Meeting his eyes, she brought her finger to her lips in a shushing gesture. He nodded mutely and slowly walked back to the kitchen and sat back down.

"Hermione! _Alohomora._" The door remained close.

Sirius frowned, disliking that Ron apparently had no qualms about just letting himself into the house uninvited.

"Fine! Be that way! Let me know when you actually want your friends and the only person who will ever love you back!"

There was a crack of disapparation then silence.

Hermione joined him at the table and leaned forward resting her face in her hands, much as he had when she told him of Remus's death.

Sirius gave her a moment to collect her thoughts before saying quietly, "I'm back."

"I see that," she replied, removing her hands from her face to smooth down her hair and giving him a small smile.

"Will you tell me now?"

"Well, I suppose you really ought to know now, considering what you just heard. I haven't talked to Ron nor any of the other Weasleys in about a year," she began quietly.

"What happened?"

Biting her lip, Hermione thought of where to begin.

"Well, I suppose you know that Molly always wanted her big happy Weasley family, Harry and Ginny, Ron and I. And in Hogwarts, I suppose I had fancied him, but it was never really healthy, I don't think. It was all jealousy and trying to see who could hurt the other more, before we were even together. And then after he left us alone during the horcrux hunt…"

"He left you?" Sirius asked, surprisedly.

Hermione scoffed.

"Yes. He left. He couldn't handle the conditions, and not getting his requisite four meals a day. And the running and hiding wore on him, as if he was bearing the brunt of the load himself. He even tried to make me feel guilty for not abandoning Harry with him, and said I was choosing Harry over him."

"So he ran back to mommy and daddy," Sirius said mockingly.

"Actually not," Hermione replied. "He didn't have the courage to do that. He knew his brothers would give him a hard time so he went to Bill and Fleur instead. He eventually came to his senses and returned but I think that was when I realized that it would always be like that. Every time I would agree with Harry or take Harry's side over his, he would react as if I was choosing Harry over him, always. What if I had married him? I probably wouldn't have been able to even go out to dinner with Harry alone without him suspecting something."

"I understand," Sirius said. "But you stayed with him?"

"I did," Hermione stated, "We kissed during the battle, and afterwards it was such a hard time. We had lost so many, including Fred. His whole family was torn up and it wasn't a good time to evaluate my romantic situation. And plus it was like a natural high, you know? Surviving the battle and knowing that he was finally truly gone…I'm sure you remember what it was like."

"I do," he admitted. "People dancing in the street, getting married left and right. That was when load of our schoolmates got married. Even Remus was engaged."

"Really? I never knew that."  
>"Yes…she was a nice quiet girl from our year. However, her family didn't approve of Remus's 'condition' and she ended up breaking it off."<p>

"Poor Remus," Hermione said softly.

"What about you, Hermione? What did you do after the war?"

"I stayed with the Weasleys for awhile, until around the time of Ginny and Harry's wedding when I went to try to retrieve my parents as I told you. It was back and forth to Australia for a while until I realized my efforts were futile. I had to be careful though, because the Ministry had enacted foolish laws concerning Muggleborns during the war, and even after Voldemort was defeated it still took awhile to get rid of the red tape. So for a few years I just laid low, studied at home to finish up my last year of schooling and took my NEWTs." Sirius knew better than to ask, correctly assuming that she had achieved every one that she tried for.

"Tried a desk job for the ministry and didn't like it. I even went through the Mediwitch training and started working at St. Mungo's, but I couldn't go anywhere without people either fawning over me because of my name or wishing to challenge my abilities. And Ron was pushing me for a commitment. Harry and Ginny had gotten married, George and Angelina were well on their way, as were Percy and Penelope. Bill and Fleur were already pregnant with Victoire, and even Charlie was dating another dragon-keeper. When I think back on it now, all I can remember is countless excuses and frustration. 'When everything settles down', 'when I'm finished with my schooling', 'when I get settled into my new job', 'when I finish my Mediwitch training', on and on and on. Finally about a year and a half ago, he gave me an ultimatum."

"Which was?" Sirius asked, not liking the sounds of this already.

"Marry him within the next six months, or we were done," Hermione said dully.

"How dare he!" Sirius exclaimed.

"I suppose he thought I'd, ahem, see reason and fold. He didn't think I'd say 'fine' and walk out."

"Well, I'm proud of you, Hermione. That's no way to end up with someone," Sirius said.

"It hasn't been easy though. You can just imagine Mrs. Weasley's reaction, as well as Ginny's. I must've gotten at least three Howlers from each of them. They said I led him on and of course the only reason I wasn't marrying him was that there was someone else, scarlet woman and all that. Ginny even accused me of having feelings for Harry."

Sirius was seeing red. Of course he'd had his disagreements with Molly over Harry, but to hear how she had treated, was going to treat, _whatever_, Hermione…it was reprehensible.

"Didn't anyone stand up for you?" he finally asked.

"You know how they are. No one dare say anything against Molly, the lot are scared of her temper. Arthur still treated me kindly but not around Molly. I was never really close to the other Weasleys, except maybe George and Fred. I had dinner with George and Angelina a few times after and they treated me nicely enough but it was just awkward considering it felt as if we were waiting on eggshells, afraid for Molly to barge in."

"What about Harry? Surely…" Sirius trailed off, unwilling to believe that Harry would let something like this happen to his best friend.

"You know how Ginny is, Sirius. She's got a temper just like the rest of them. And besides that, as I said, she was already accusing me of having feelings for Harry. If he had said too much, she would have begun to believe that he returned these alleged feelings. They were already married, there wasn't much he could do. I don't blame him."

"You're too nice, Hermione. Just wait until I see my godson again…" Sirius said dangerously.

"Sirius! You can't let what I've told you influence your view of them in your time. None of this has happened yet."

"I'll try, Hermione, but this makes me view them all in a different light."

"Tell me about it," Hermione said with a sad smile.


	8. Delicious

_**A/N: Hello again! Thank you very much for reading and reviewing! This story has almost 100 people following it now and I couldn't be happier! Thank you very much :) I know some of you guys have been surprised by Harry's behavior, but I think this will be explained better in a future chapter. **_

_**Oh and totallysirius pointed out a little blunder concerning me mixing up Fred and George and I fixed it. :) **_

To Disappear Through Time

Chapter Eight

"_Sirius! You can't let what I've told you influence your view of them in your time. None of this has happened yet."_

"_I'll try, Hermione, but this makes me view them all in a different light."_

"_Tell me about it," Hermione said with a sad smile._

Sirius gazed at her for a few long moments, unsure of what to say. What do you say after someone relates the story of how they lost everyone they thought of as their family and friends? He felt the urge to embrace her as he had after she related the story of her parents and didn't know how to feel about it. He knew he meant only to comfort her, but that in itself felt odd. He had seen her display her strength time and time again and to see her vulnerable made him feel odd. It was like seeing Dumbledore cry or something. After relating her story, she quieted and lowered her gaze to the table.

"I'm sorry it's happened liked this, Hermione," Sirius began awkwardly. "But you have to know that you can't blame yourself for how things have turned out. As odd as it sounds, I'd rather things be this way than for you to have settled for a relationship you weren't comfortable in."

"I know," Hermione agreed, "but it does get lonely."

"Well, that's why I'm here, love," Sirius proclaimed, in an attempt at his usual flamboyant charm. "We can be lonely together."

Hermione gave a half-smile, and Sirius decided it was better than nothing.

"I am happy you're here, Sirius. As much as the rational little voice in my head tells me this may be a bad idea, it is nice having you here."

"It's nice being here," Sirius replied. "I'm enjoying it as much as you are, if not more. It's helping me more than you know. You're great company."

They looked at each other in silence for a moment. Hermione opened her mouth to say something and then blushed slightly before opening it again.

"Sirius, I have something really important I need to tell you."

He cocked a brow, wondering at what she would say.

"What I need to tell you is…your potatoes are smoking."

Sirius cursed loudly as he grabbed an oven mitt and stalked towards the stove, with Hermione looking amused behind him.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

"Sirius, this is really good," Hermione praised as she took another small bite of the roasted chicken. The potatoes had been fine save for being slightly scorched ("Nothing a little seasoning won't fix!"), and the chicken was delicious.

"I have a bachelor's cooking skills," Sirius said with a jaunty smile. "Edible with as little effort as possible. And if it tastes good, that's a plus."

Hermione gave a small smile at the statement before looking down again at her food.

"I've been meaning to tell you, you look very nice today," Sirius said, not only in an effort to cheer her up but also in truth.

She blushed slightly and said, "Thank you, Sirius. I had a good morning and felt like dressing up a little. Although it looked better before I slept on it."

"Still, I like it. I've always loved seeing your hair down."  
>It was his turn to look down in slight embarrassment. He cleared his throat before continuing.<p>

"I don't mean to pry but what do you do? Do you work? Teach, maybe? Or write?" Sirius guessed, naming professions he knew she'd be excellent at.

"I work at a Muggle bookstore. It's nice," she stated quickly, as if defending her choice of employment. "Easy, pays the bills. Not that there's many, living in a house that needs no utilities. It's not too far of a walk either. Oh! That reminds me. Do you like chocolate?"

Remembering the box of cupcakes she had bought on her walk back, she got up from her chair and retrieved them from the counter.

"If you'll open that, I'll get us plates for our cupcakes. And milk. A glass of milk is the perfect accompaniment to double chocolate cupcakes."

"Sounds delicious," Sirius said and pulled his wand from his back pocket and tapped the ribbon in which the box was enclosed, causing it to retract. He reached inside and grabbed one of the cupcakes and wasted no time in taking a big lick across it, smudging the frosting across his lower lip.

"This one's mine," he stated unnecessarily.

"Sirius Black! You couldn't even wait for me?" Hermione asked, laughing.

"Of course, I can. You can have this one."

He held out one of the other cupcakes to her, and as he did so, bumped it against her nose so that a dollop of frosting remained on the tip of it.

"Sirius!" Hermione exclaimed. The combination of her indignant scowl and the dark frosting on her nose reminded Sirius of an indignant panda and he laughed merrily.

Hermione scrambled for a napkin to clean off her nose but Sirius calmed himself enough to tell her not to bother. He reached out, and with the pad of his thumb, wiped the sweet confection from her nose. Without dropping his gaze from hers, he brought his thumb to his mouth and licked it clean before murmuring "delicious".

_Oh bollocks, _she thought to herself at the sudden butterflies in her stomach.

_A/N: Oh, Sirius._


	9. Something I Can Never Have

_**A/N: Here is the new chapter! I'd like to say thank you again for your reviews! Not only do they inspire me to keep writing, but a lot of them have given me ideas that I will most likely include in the story! I hope you enjoy. :)**_

To Disappear Through Time

Chapter 9

_Sirius reached out, and with the pad of his thumb, wiped the sweet confection from her nose. Without dropping his gaze from hers, he brought his thumb to his mouth and licked it clean before murmuring "delicious"._

Oh bollocks_, she thought to herself at the sudden butterflies in her stomach._

Hermione felt herself blush and dropped her eyes as Sirius did the same. _This is not the time to revisit your teenage infatuation with Sirius Black, _she told herself.

"Thank you," she said quietly before sitting down with her cupcake and milk. They ate in silence, each mulling over their thoughts. Suddenly Sirius asked a question that caught Hermione by surprise.  
>"Hermione, why did Harry marry Ginny?"<p>

Hermione felt dumbfounded for a moment and didn't know quite how to respond.

"I'm assuming because he found himself to be quite fond of her, Sirius," she said finally.

"No, I mean it. How did it happen? Did they date all through Hogwarts? Why did I never hear about it?"

"They didn't date until after you were gone. It's hard to explain," Hermione said awkwardly.

"Try," Sirius insisted. "I really want to understand it."

Hermione sighed and gave him a long look before conceding.

"Well, Ginny grew up hearing about Harry Potter, The-Boy-Who-Lived, great savior of the wizarding world. And it was like she idolized him, as Muggle girls do movie stars. She was starstruck. And when Harry and Ron became such good friends and he began coming to the Burrow regularly, she couldn't even bring herself to talk to him. She fancied him so much she didn't talk in front of him until the summer before our 5th year, I think. She was in love with him before she even really got to know him."

"I don't like that," Sirius said shortly.

"I didn't much understand it," Hermione admitted. "Harry never really had much to say about it. It was all rather polite conversation; he never teased her or anything, although her brothers often had a go at it. I can't even recall them having extended conversation until after she finally got over it our fifth year. She told me she had given up on him finally, and I told him as such, but he wasn't too concerned about it. That was when he liked this girl Cho, so that was probably why. Then out of nowhere it seemed, during our sixth year when everything was getting bad, his feelings for her began to change. They were off and on due to the war, but they always came back together. And now they're married."

"What do you feel about it?"

Hermione seemed reluctant to say anything about it. "Well," she began, "if I were to think about it objectively, it would bother me. There were dozens of girls who loved Harry just because he was famous and didn't care about who he really was. And that's how she was at the beginning. But it was Ron's little sister, you know? And they eventually did get to know each other."

"I don't like that she loved him just for his name. And the fact that he's thrown away his friendship with you because of her and her family."

Sighing, Hermione decided to take a different tactic.

"Sirius, did Harry ever tell you about the time he found the Mirror of Erised?"

"No, but I've heard of it."

"Then you know that it shows you your heart's deepest desire. Do you know what Harry saw when he looked into it?"

"What?"

"His family, all of his family. He saw Lily and James and their parents and probably their grandparents and so on, all standing behind him. It was like he had the reassurance of his family behind him, if only for a few nights. That's what devastated him about losing you, you were the closest thing to a real family he's ever had. And now that he and Ginny are together, he has a family. I'm almost sure they would have loved him no matter who he ended up with, but now he is really a Weasley. He has them all behind him like he hasn't had anyone else for most of his life. I can understand why he wouldn't want to jeopardize it. I don't blame him."

"You keep saying that, Hermione, but I think you should. Although, I probably do enough for both of us. I know that I haven't been able to be around him for as much as I have liked, and that everyone believes that I see him as James reincarnated, but I can't seem to process what you've told me with the Harry that I know."

Hermione sighed.

"I can't explain it any better than I have, Sirius. I've had time to deal with it and rationalize it as best I can, and when it comes down to it, I think I understand. Not that I don't wish it were different sometimes."

Sirius wanted to reach out a hand to her, but a table separated them. And considering that she had a habit of making him feel like an awkward third-year, he didn't know if it was the best idea. And if what he was thinking had any credence, it would make it even more disconcerting. Finally, taking a deep breath, he voiced what he was thinking.

"I always thought that it would be you and him," Sirius admitted.

Hermione sighed, as if it were something that she had thought about yet didn't wish to discuss.

"I mean, I know he's not James but I thought you would work as he and Lily did. When it comes down to the important parts, he is so much like James. And you very much remind me of Lily sometimes. Your temperament, your intelligence, your passion towards things you care about. She was a genuinely good person, she would give anyone a chance. Back in our Hogwarts days, it always boggled my mind how she could be so nice to Snivellus when he was such a greasy git, but I think you would have been the same way."

At this statement Hermione considered telling Sirius what they had found out about Snape and his history with Lily, but decided against it. It probably wouldn't really sway his thoughts about the man too much, and may do more harm than good.

Sirius continued.

"The same thing goes for Remus. She had suspected what he was before we even had a clue and she never treated him any differently. Just as when you found out, any other 13-year-old would've run off to tell her friends immediately, but you understood the implications and kept his secret. And with Harry, you were the one that stood by him even when no one else seemed to. You knew when he needed to be pushed or pulled but you still let him have his space. You're the best friend he could have asked for. You were always there for him whenever he needed you. And considering I couldn't be there for him when I wanted, I love you for being there when I couldn't."

_You've been in her life for two days and you're telling her you love her? Way to go, you old git, _Sirius thought frustratedly.  
>He was silent for a few moments. Finally he said, "I just can't say that I understand it."<p>

Hermione pondered a moment on what Sirius had said. It was interesting hearing his views on her and Harry's relationship, especially in regard to James and Lily.

"There were times when I thought to myself that we would be good together," Hermione confessed. "But it never seemed like something I could have. He was so strong and brave and everything I had always wished I could be. But at the same time, so vulnerable. I tried to protect him, and I suppose that's where the idea of a brother-sister thing came from. But even if I had considered it, I suppose I wasn't his type. Both Ginny and Cho were a lot alike: gorgeous, tall and thin, funny and Quidditch players. Besides, he needed someone to take him away from it all. Not someone who was fighting right there beside him. I think he knew I would never abandon him, and for that reason I became like a reminder of what he was up against. With Ginny, he could forget about it all for awhile and be happy. He couldn't have that with me. I know that's what he needed back then, but now…I sometimes wonder…"

Hermione laughed softly and examined the palm of her hands before continuing.

"But that's neither here nor there. It is what it is and he is happy with Ginny. And Ron was always so jealous that if Harry and I had even tried for a relationship he would've been furious. He might've forgiven Harry after awhile, but I doubt he would have forgiven me. If we had ended up together where would he be? Alone in this old house with me, the Weasleys still hating me for stealing him away. "

"And he'd be better off," Sirius insisted. "Believe me, I know all about being a raucous teenager, chasing after pretty Quidditch players. But as you get older, other things become more important. Things like trust and maturity in a relationship. You want someone who is supportive and shares what you want in life. Someone who inspires you to be a better person."

Holding her gaze with his, Sirius paused before continuing.

"Someone you see yourself loving for the rest of your life."

Grey eyes. Those damn grey eyes. A week ago she never would've guessed that she would ever see those striking grey eyes ever again and yet here she was staring into them as enchanted as ever.

"That's what I want, Sirius."

"That's what I want too, Hermione. But it's something I can never have."

_A/N: Haha, can you tell that my OTP is Harmony? :)_


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